Its a little before 4am and I am in a lot of pain. Pain that wakes me up.
I have leared to be numb to a degree. (quite an accomplishment for a moral, strong person like myself, i am living proof that people can change).
Normally I would be knocked out from the medication so I wouldn't mind.
Just a little shorter than a month goes by and I have run out of medication. I figure I will be OK but I would give anything to have had them.
This is inhumane.
The medication costs $150.00 aud. a month roughly. I am wealthy in other ways but not financially.
Since I was able bodied to work I have paid my taxes.
Being a business owner I killed myself, workwise, to pay my staff and pay taxes.
Now I really need help from my government and nothing.
If only the government knew SOME of things I have done.
Just a health care card would help me get my medication.
This whole situation is madness.
I don't know how much longer I can take this CONSTANT negativity.
If only I could speak for myself and be understood. Oh the people I would speak to and what I would get done!
Talk about a situation making you feel insignificant.
I have a Donation account but there is not much in there, (well enough to help out once or twice, thanks to the people that have put money in there), and I put it in an account I cant access easily as I don't want to touch the funds.
I will probably have to cut it in half and pay tax anyway.
Excuse me while I wallow in self pity. It is probably the pain and lack of sleep.
This is like a diary, to give you some insight into my situation.
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3 comments:
Doesnt sound like you had a very good night! Maybe when we are back
you can come spend the night with Rocky on your bed and the boring silence of the Isle of Capri with everyone tucked up at 8pm!
Also - can you email me your full email list so I can send a note to everyone about your blog and fund- then it comes from me and not from you.
We are back Sunday but I have to work in Canberra until Wednesday so will see you later in the week.
Hope you have better sleep soon.
Your mates abroad...
M, A, T,
Oh Phil you break my heart! I was just thinking about you today and wondering how you were going so I thought I'd jump onto your site.
You deserve to wollow in a bit of pity, so long as you then scrape it off soon enough, and just keep going. I know you will because Ive seen you come in each wednesday for hours of torture that we like to call "therapy" - very thinly veiled isnt it?
When I first met you I pictured your life outside of hospital as very restricted I'm afraid to say. But now I've read your blogs and see you are living life more than most of us who are well. You are an inspiration not only to people who are unwell.
Your writing is fantastic and you bring such strong images into my mind whenever I read it - hopefully it will get rid of that image that Brady gave me - a certain skating story....
Go to the beach, have a great swim and shake it off, then bring out your drum set and get revenge at about 2am tomorrow!
Take care of yourself and think about all the great things you have in your life - there is plenty when you look at the big picture.
Katie
Hey Phil, it took a while for news to reach me out here in the Boonies, have only just heard. Sorry to hear about what's going on.
Kelli and I were speaking and wondered it it would be of any help to you if I wrote an in-depth article for the Bully's Paradise Mag bringing attention to your condition, the treatment (and the cost of it) and all that goes with it, and also promoting any fundraising initiatives etc which may be coming up.
Would love to help in anyway I can, email me if that's easiest alice@gormanmedia.com.au
Hope things are bearable,
Alice (farmer's wife, Boonah!).
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